Tofu Soup

Yes, I know I've been delinquent with the 'Wrimo blogging---I'll get to that in a minute.

But first I want to talk about soup. Tofu vegetable soup, to be exact. From China King.

I've been sick the past few days. Feeling crappy and tired and run down due to the addition of a second job at a bookstore(Yes, the discount is SWEET!) and a much more active social life than I've been accustomed to the past few months.

I've been thinking about this soup. It has huge chunks of tofu and its all garlicky and it comes with little fried noodles to sprinkle on top. Three dollars and fifty five cents of heaven.
I decided to pick some up on the way to work, reasoning that I wanted it and it would make me feel better.

I went in and placed my order. Soup and an order of rangoon(crab-free as I love the aminals).
Sat around for about ten minutes, then headed out to the car.
I was in the car starting to munch on the rangoon when it hit me: I could afford this soup.

You see, last year at this time I was in a pretty shitty place.
Working for an agency that jacked around my hours and treated me badly, broke, living paycheck to paycheck.
Feeling really crappy about my life, my future, myself.
Grasping at anything and anyone that would make me feel better about my life.

As one friend stated, "Your mouth is smiling but your eyes are sad".

I was so miserable I didn't even have the strength to identify what was going wrong with my life.

Things happened. I got assaulted and spent time in the hospital taking a long hard look at my life. I switched jobs. I started working on my teaching certificate.
I ended a friendship that had been causing me stress and that maybe wasn't the healthiest.
I started yoga, helped grow a garden.
I've made new friends, joined new groups, started stretching my boundaries.

I've learned to go places by myself again, without feeling the need to have someone there constantly.
I've done a lot of home maintenance work that I was scared to do before.
I've learned to express my wants and needs.


What does this have to do with soup?

I can afford it now. Not only can I afford to go out and buy Tofu Vegetable soup, I can afford to do it twice a month if I choose.
I can pay my bills and have a bit of money left over.
I can put a bit of money in savings and give money to organizations that I support.
I'm not rich or even on the middle class spectrum, but I'm doing better than I have been for a while.

My life has changed so much in a year that I can hardly believe it.

I look back at the girl I was a year ago, and the woman I am today almost doesn't recognize her.

My life has changed immensely.
I'd like to say it was all hard work or all luck, but the truth is that it was a combination of both.
And I'm stronger for it.

A year ago I couldn't buy soup without putting off paying my bills; today I can buy food whenever I need it.
A year ago I was scared of the world and of the future; today I am eagerly looking ahead to spreading my wings and flying.
A year ago I had lost my sense of self worth; today I look in the mirror and see a beautiful woman with a bright future.

Today my mouth is smiling...and so are my eyes.