The Egg Whisperer

The last few weeks have been insane.
Work drama, too little time for myself, crazy stuff happening every which way you can imagine.

But.
Let me tell you a story.

Last year at Fest I went a (very classy) event known as the kissing workshop.
In the line was a girl I had seen at Fest two years previous, but never really talked to.
She saw me and immediately switched places with another girl so she would be the first one I kissed.
Said she: I've been wanting to kiss you for a while.
Said I: Um, okay.

So we kissed. We kissed and she fell to the ground.
In a joking manner, of course. I'm husky, but not that husky.

Said she: You kissed me so good you made me fall to my knees.
Said I: Um, okay.

So she went and got a chair and she sat on it and I straddled her and we kissed some more.

We moved on down the line. I kissed some other girls. My pants fell off. (Another story for another day)

At the end of the workshop she came up to me and we kissed again.
Then I left to go to lunch(feta chickpea salad day!!!!) and I didn't see her again until the femme parade.

At the femme parade every year I carry a flogger. Not a big one, a baby one. And flog all of the girls who request a tap or ten.

I do all of this in a very ladylike manner, of course.
Because I Am A Lady.
But I digress.

After the femme parade she propositioned me.
Said she: I think I need to be flogged. Maybe you could come back to my tent and show me how you use that thing.
Said I: I'll flog you here but I'm not coming back to your tent. I'm A Lady and I NEVER hook up with anyone at fest.

(Stop laughing, Festies. Seriously. I AM A LADY!)


So we went our separate ways and didn't really see each other the rest of Fest.
A few weeks ago, I had a birthday/Fest party.
And this woman showed up who had read about it and wanted to hang with a few Festies.

I told EVERYONE my kissing workshop story.
Because I like to tell my stories over and over.

The next day I was sitting beside this woman and telling her how I had never hooked up with anyone at Fest and how i had never really met many woman who sparked my interest there.


Said she: I have a friend you might like to meet.
Said I: Um, okay.

So she went and got her laptop and started flipping through pictures.
Stopped on one and said, "This is the friend I was telling you about".

It was the woman from the kissing workshop.

Said I: Would you mind passing along my number to her?
Said she: Um, okay.

My number was passed, the woman called.

We've been talking like crazy.
We've talked so much that we both have run over the minutes on our phones and can now only talk after 7 PM.

She's amazing. Funny, smart, and hot.
I'm going to visit her in a few weeks.


Where I will proceed to do ONLY ladylike things.
Because I Am A Lady.