This is how we spend our time together now. When she made the decision to go back to school, I was aware that our lives would change. I didn't realize how drastically different things would be.
Gone are our leisurely Sunday mornings, where she would make me breakfast in bed and we would sit and talk for hours over coffee. Now our Sundays involve her jumping out of bed and throwing on clothes so that she can get to her second job. After that, I cook and clean while she works on her exit papers and scours the internet looking for job openings.
She used to make over 60K; now her yearly income is significantly less. I don't make much working at a nonprofit so we live paycheck to precarious paycheck. It strains our tiny budget and has changed a lot of our habits. No more meals out when we are too tired to cook, no more thrift store shopping excursions. Every penny is accounted for and stretched until it can't be stretched any more.
Our evenings no longer involve going to the movies, trying out new coffee places, or going to a concert. Most of our evenings now are spent with her reading and grading papers while I read and cook dinner.
On the rare occasion we do go somewhere, it is to the coffee shop where she works part time, so that we can have free sandwiches and coffee, thanks to her generous boss. I never thought I'd tire of the menu there; now I occasionally feel nauseous when I look at their pastry case.
Sometimes she feels guilty. She knows her research and work take her away and cause her to be grouchy, and she knows she isn't the loving partner she was before she started school.
Last night she told me, "I know you don't love me the way you used to. I know my crankiness and stress have driven you away".
I hugged her, smiled and her, and reassured her, "Boo Bear, you're still my favorite person".
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