Safety

When I was younger, I was careless with myself. I drank profusely. I did drugs without knowing what they were. I slept around with anyone and everyone. 

Looking back, it's a miracle that worse things didn't happen to me. 

Now at the ripe old age of thirty five, I spend my days lecturing to teenagers and young adults about safety, pleading with them to be safe. I give them condoms. I talk to them about drugs. I discuss alcohol and it's long term effects in the body. And I talk about smoking and how bad it is until I'm blue in the face(while knowing full well that as soon as I get off work I'm going to sit in my car and light one up). 

I sometimes wonder if I'm making a difference. Are they really absorbing what I say, or are they just nodding so they can get out of the room? I know I did at that age. 

As they filter out the door, I hold my big bowl of condoms and tell them to take as many as they want. "Safety first", I tell them as they dutifully take a handful. 

Some days I have to laugh at myself. Despite my lack of safety, I'm still here.